Nicole vs. Life
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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