Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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