I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
