I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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