He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize