nut hugger
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
