I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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