Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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