Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
