R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
