well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
