You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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