I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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