awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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