We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
