South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
