I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
