There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
