is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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