Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
porn star boner night. come get it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
