anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
