Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
