How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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