I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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