I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
