they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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