I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
