Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just tell him i said nine months
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
