Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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