ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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