It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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