I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
