Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
false alarm. still invincible.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
