Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
