This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
