We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
