tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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