Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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