I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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