The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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