did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
