she was so not down for the gang bang
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
