how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
