I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
