Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
