If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
