OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
