Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
