Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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