I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
