Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I want to be your penis for a week.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
