I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
