Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize