Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
