smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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