he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
