So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
