wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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