He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
