I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
