My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
