You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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