Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
