it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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