I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
