He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Send help, water and tortillas.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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