And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know her cup size but not her name....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
