We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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